2017: The Growing Moments

This is a continuation of last post’s 2017 highlights. However, I really did not want to call this the “2017 low-lights reel.” Instead God is working on my attitude this week in general, so why not put it to work here too?

2017 stretched us for the better though it definitely did not feel like that during. Here are [3] of those “growing moments”:

  1. Hadley’s Birth. Yes, this makes the top in both categories.  I really don’t want to drone on and on about this because I’ve talked about it before here extensively.  But going from a mom of 1 to a mom of 2 is NO JOKE. Everyone says these are the “motherhood trenches” but I feel like I needed a lot more than just that phrase to understand the intensity of  what life with 2 would be like. I love them. Fiercely. But man, has life changed all over again. At around 5 months I felt like we were finally getting into a groove but by no means does that mean it is easy! We still work hard at this everyday just trying to survive! So thankful to have my husband to do this alongside of!!IMG_0014.jpg
  2. My grandfather’s heaven birthday, August 4. My grandparents were/are grandparents to everyone. I have had the storybook set of them and have always been so beyond proud to say they are “mine.” So the end of his life hits our family hard. His love for God was undeniable and I know this separation is only temporary because of it. He is the first person I  have lost that was significantly close to me. I am so thankful for God’s grace as he prepared me and worked inside me to be more accepting of his death this past summer. I have always feared death and loss like this. But God has been so good and blessed our family throughout this time.  “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted…” Psalm 34:18
  3. Jake’s job. Gosh, I don’t know where to start. First off the company he quit last April is the company that landed us here in western PA FIVE years ago. It helped pay off my student loans. It paid for our trips. It allowed me to be a stay-at-home-mom. It was a good job financially. But right after we bought our house (in March) and I was about to hit my third trimester of pregnancy, the job went south. I don’t need to go into it. But let me just say it took every ounce of me to not write an e-mail or make a phone call with rage seething out of me to his bosses. The way Jake got treated at the end was wrong and we knew it was time to quit. But, again, God is so good. Because right when that was happening there was a job opening up at a very amazing company here. He applied and was working there about a month later. The timing was amazing for many, many reasons. But it has allowed me to be a stay-at-home-mom still and has given my husband the opportunity to thrive in more of his talents and less work stress. He loves his new job so, so much!IMG_3092.JPG

So here is to 2018! And enough about the personal posts! What do you guys want to see on the blog this year!? Let me know below!

xo, bethany rose

My [raw] Motherhood Essays #2

edited to add: I’ve received such wonderful feedback on this already and I am so appreciative of that. I did want to reiterate though that I realize this “resting period” is a season. With our son we had him in China at 6 months of age and did a lot with him. This time is just different–and that’s okay with us. It’s still early 🙂 

It was a summer with one item on the bucket list and it wasn’t a traditional item either. A summer where I learned to just say, “Oh well.” A summer where whatever happened happened and I learned to say, “Next year.” As I planned for this summer I even kept my hopes and lists down and yet I still felt the sting of disappointment. Disappointment that was soon turned into a smile exchanged between my husband and me because we knew….we knew it was just a season.


When I found out I was due with our second baby at the beginning of the summer (bucket list: check!) , I shrugged it off and said, “No plans. No commitments. We’ll just stay home all summer and adjust to life with two. ” And while that is what we did for a large portion of it, I soon realized my whatever attitude might not be enough to glide through.  I came up with a tiny list of things I’d like to do over the summer. I made it small and simple:

1. Blueberry pick.

2.Work on my photography.

3.Go hiking.

4. Roadtrip to our friends’ house 4 hours away.

5. A day at the beach

Instead this is what happened: We arrived to pick blueberries on a somewhat rainy day just as the baby needed to eat. My husband and son started picking without us and by the time I was done, the rain was in full swing. They returned to the car with a small bag of berries and I never left the car.

Work on photography? If you count pictures of my new baby, that’s about it.

Oh, we went on a hike. It actually went really great. But the amount of time it took to figure out food for a gluten intolerant child with limited options, picking a place to hike that was over an hour away and a baby that was still eating every two hours…well let’s just say we did it only once.

And as for our road trip to see our friends, I got the phone call en route that my grandfather had passed away. That road trip turned into two back to back trips and sleeping in five different  places that week.  I did, however, get my beach day in.


If there was one thing that could make me slow down, it was the birth of my daughter. My daughter has showed me that I cannot do everything. Nay, I should not do everything. Even more, four months later I still find myself quitting things and saying no to things as I just try to survive and navigate “mom of two” life. I find it ironic that my daughter’s name in Hebrew means “resting” or “rest of God.” I feel like that is literally being thrust upon me and I have no choice but to “give up.”

It can be a negative or positive thing depending on your outlook. I never wanted to be someone who stopped doing things because I had children. Go ahead. Laugh. Judge me. While I admit it part way has to do with pride, it also has to do with the belief that I think too many people really put their kids in front of themselves too much and stop doing things. Please. Let me explain.

I want to give my children the world. I want to be selfless and teach, love and show them what it means to be a kind human and love Jesus with all their hearts. My prayer every day is that my children will be in Heaven with me eternally. I will do anything in my power to be a catalyst in that relationship.

So when I talk about people putting their children in front of them I mean this: we are parents but we are also wives, friends, daughters and workers/volunteers/etc. here on earth. We need to take care of ourselves. We need to still find our identity in Jesus and pursue passions and talents of ours. As parents though, I realize we might not be able to pursue it 100% as we did before. But we can still pursue it to some degree. I believe finding that balance lies in conversation with God and your husband and possibly a mentor if you have one.


Ok, that was a long tangent. I digress.

 I am learning to rest. I am learning to say, “not this season” or “just because we can’t do that now, doesn’t meant we never will.” I may or may not have started that mentality with some kicking and screaming. But I am at peace now. I am at peace that I made it to the beach once this summer. I am at peace that we ate outside for one meal. I am at peace that a new summer wardrobe was not bought. I am at peace that we didn’t even make it to the zoo.

I’m learning to focus on specific things in life and not 842 of them. It’s making me really think about what I want to spend my time on and where it should be. TV has become a luxury at times.

I look at my son and he has no idea he spent his summer playing at a water table we found on the side of the road and going to the same park repeatedly. He’s happy he has a new sister and his family eats dinner together every night, even if we ate pasta salad entirely ten too many times.

I look at my husband. He knows what I have learned. His summer was not what he hoped either. He made it on maybe five motorcycle rides this summer, a number entirely too low for him. He is the most laid back, kind man I know though and I am grateful our children have his attitude and character to look up to.


And I look at my daughter amd I think, “You did this.” She slowed us down. Her presence made us rethink our commitments and hammer down where we are meant to focus our talents. She is teaching us to rest. Even if I am kicking and screaming.

xo, bethany rose

My [raw] Motherhood Essays #1

I sit here with an iced coffee–coconut, my favorite–and a chocolate chip cookie baked last night. Both of my children are napping and the air outside has autumn swirling around inside of it. The house is mostly spotless and there are only two piles of laundry to fold today instead of three. But the truth is, my afternoons are not always like this. Yesterday was not like this.


Yesterday my daughter screamed more in her life than she ever has before. She screamed to the point where I needed to lay her down, walk out of the room and just breathe. I needed to go upstairs and hold my son who snuggled into me and pray that my husband returned from work sooner and not later.

I know this is okay. The midwife told me weeks ago when she was born, “It is okay if the baby cries and you just need a breather. Leave her in a safe spot and go take a couple minutes for yourself.” I know that if she told me that, she must tell all moms that. If she is telling other moms this, it must happen to other moms. I must not be alone. I must not be the only mom who has moments that need a reset button and needs to be alone. To breathe. To sit. To scroll instagram and know that the other moms on there have moments too.


“Your instagram is perfect,” commented a girl to me once. “You have such beautiful pictures.” And perhaps my pictures are pretty. But perhaps it is because I love photography. I love capturing the happy moments that happen in my little family. Don’t most of us? It’s not to make a front that my family only has perfect, smiling moments. My photos are an art in the way my words are. I think they both share different sides of my story.

So here are the words that belong in between the pictures.

My  daughter went in and out of screaming. By the time my husband came home (later than normal) he took the baby without asking and I made dinner (which was served later than normal). He then shoo’d me out of the house to my spinning class where I took those 45 minutes to breathe (and work out harder than normal). I think you get the picture.

Today is better. My daughter must have worked out that gas and decided that she actually did need to nap today. She smiled at me tremendously as well and I returned the favor.  Today I started my morning reading my Bible and asking God for patience. He answered abundantly.

I think it’s in these moments that the learning and persevering occur. It’s up to us if we allow these moments to make us feel like failures or instead turn those feelings over to God and ask him to use these moments to shape us into the mothers we strive to be; the mothers He has called us to be.

xo, bethany rose