Long Days, Short Years, you say. Trust me I know. But it is still hard.

Long Days, Short Years, I know this. Trust me I know. But it is still hard.

I started a series of motherhood essays last year called My [raw] Motherhood Essays. However, in an attempt to keep them easy to identify, I am giving this one a name. Today I share with you the third installment.

long days short years the hard years of motherhood from waves and lilacs
photo credit: http://www.jsiniscalphoto.com/

It happened pretty quickly stepping into my entry level of motherhood. I read or was told, “These are the days” or “Enjoy it right now while they’re young” or “Oh, it feels like yesterday.” Parents reminiscent of the years that felts like only days earlier to them. Their best intentions of sharing their hearts became the best intentions of my mama heart.

Enjoying these moments and years no matter how long the days….because the years are short.

So when you enter my home and the living room is rearranged,  half the contents of the playroom are displayed on my kitchen floor, my toddler is covered in jelly from breakfast number three and my eight month old baby is eating half of a dead stink bug (this really just happened last week), know that while I accept with a grateful spirit your words and genuinely love hearing them, this time is really, really hard sometimes too.

I know your words are true. Trust me I do. But this time of my life is still hard. I catch myself counting down the hours to nap time and then until my husband is home. I find myself scrolling through a list of friends and whether they are available this week to spend time with to make the mornings go by a little faster. I  have found myself yelling at my son because my patience is waning (or well, it’s probably gone at that point–let’s face it) and trying to wear my kids out so they’ll sleep longer during nap time.

solly wrap long days short years the hard years of motherhood from waves and lilacs


But I also catch myself trying really hard to sit down and play with my kids. To laugh and smile and watch when my son calls out “Watch this!” and does some strange movement he deems amazing and wonderful. I try to wake up ahead of my kids (occasionally because people keep changing my clocks every spring and fall) and read my Bible and pray for patience to enjoy my day with them. I try to come up with fun activities and be okay with a mess on my floor. I try to make the snuggles last as long as possible because I know….I know one day my son will be bigger than me and I just might not be cool enough for my daughter for a couple of those teenage years.

So while I’m in this stage of messy motherhood, you can remind me that these are the magical years. I may also remind you in turn though that these are challenging days too.

However, I think we can both agree that we wouldn’t trade the years we are in for anything else. Because each year and stage has something new and glorious and frustrating in it. The emotions of motherhood are always there but displayed differently. As I cry at the thought of my son entering Kindergarten, you cry as your daughter walks down the aisle.  As I wish for sleep, you hope for a phone call and while I nurse my baby for the fourth time today, you share laughs over dinner with adult children.

I want to look forward to the future too. So tell me the good things that are coming my way and I’ll share with you the funny tales my toddler told me. And we can each remind one other of the hope of the future and the beautiful mess from memories of the past.

xo, bethany rose

Hadley Rose: month eight

Despite this post being much closer to nine months. I can assure you the pictures were taken closer to eight months. And that’s the part that counts the most, right!?

hadley rose turns 8 months old and was not gaining weight

Month eight was a tough month for us. Jake and I decided to bring Hadley in for  weight check, because despite her seeming fine and acting like a normal baby, she did not appear to be growing.  At the weight check we found out Hadley had lost 1.5 lbs and was completely off the charts. We were sent home with instructions to begin feeding her solid foods like crazy and supplement with breast milk (along with weekly weight checks). I guess at some point my milk production dropped and I did not know. I had a hunch about this but then would read things that contradicted it.

Of course, I felt awful and everyone rallied around us telling me not to feel guilty. Hadley devoured solid food from that day on and a week later had put on seven or so ounces. The following week another 4. The nurse and doctor were pleased and said we did not need to come in for weight checks anymore.

Hadley became a happier and easier baby. She didn’t hold a grudge 😉 I am not sure if she is back on the charts yet, but I can assure you she eats a ton each day.

Ok, ok, ok! Enough of that.

hadley rose turns 8 months old and was not gaining weight

Some Hadley Stats

weight: She was 12.8 or 12.9 at the last weight check

height: Not sure!

diapers: size 2

clothing: 3-6

hadley rose turns 8 months old and was not gaining weight

What Hadley is up to:

-Scooting. She can scoot herself backwards but still prefers to just sit and play.

Obsessions. Totally obsessed with Emmett and our dog.

-Pulling hair. She loves to pull hair and thinks it is hysterical.

-Walks. She loves going on walks outside and being outside.

Eats. bananas, avocados and sweet potatoes on the regular

Naps. She is down to 2 naps a day but goes down super easily 95% of the time. It is SUCH a blessing.

Photo Dump

xo, bethany rose

Part 1: 12 Secrets for a Lasting Marriage

How do you make your marriage last? How do you save your marriage? What is the secret to a loving marriage?

When you meet a couple who lived out sixty-two years of loving each other to the max, you wonder, “What is their secret?” My grandparents were that, and even after my grandfather’s passing last year, my grandmother continues to show her unending love in the way she speaks of him. My husband’s goal and mine has been to walk in their footsteps since the day my husband met them and said, “I want to be like them. I want to be so in love even when we are gray and old.”

My grandmother has a heart for sharing what made their marriage last–and not only last–but be strong and love-filled the entirety of it. She sat down with me and shared her heart. What I give you is part one of her “12 secrets for a lasting marriage.”


12 secrets for a lasting marriage, love life, waves and lilacs

1. Let all the “small stuff” go!  Most differences of opinion are not significant enough to address.  But if you feel strongly about something, then it does need to be discussed. (Addressed in next point) A funny story my grandmother tells begins with my grandfather saying, “I have something important to tell you. Sit down.” This was very out of character for him. My grandmother says she couldn’t fathom what he had to tell her and was worried she had done something drastically wrong. My grandfather looked at her very seriously and said, “I do not like the way you put cookies in the cookie jar.” He proceeded to explain he liked a certain number of cookies in the jar at a time and was adamant that the cookies would go stale if done another way. While my grandmother did not agree with his reasoning, or this being a huge issue, she decided to relinquish power of the cookie jar over to him.

2.  Wait to talk about major issues. The important thing about major issues would be to wait until the “right” time to calmly and patiently talk it out. When my grandparents had a major difference of opinion, God gave them the wisdom for how to settle the issue.

3. Think before you speak. If upset or annoyed about something, THINK before you speak! Words can never be taken back.  Memories of hurtful words will be remembered for a long time.

4. Give 100%. This applies to BOTH individuals. Some people believe that if they each give 50%, it will total 100%. This is incorrect thinking. Give 100% of yourself, each of you. Give, receive, give, receive. The husband and wife both need to try to do what blesses the other — back and forth, back and forth.


5. Express gratitude to one another. Say “thank you” frequently. Say it for the big things. Say it for the little things. Say it for cleaning the kitchen. Say it for running an errand. Say it for dinner being cooked. Say it for everything.

6. Acknowledge communication differences. Acknowledging reality of the differences in male/female basic communication desires, my grandmother says she tried to keep conversations of general nature to a short duration. She knew my grandfather didn’t really care about all the tiny details. Figure out what those differences are in your marriage and choose to communicate in effective ways. This is not to say that you should not share your heart or have long meaningful conversations–you should!


Stay tuned for part two! ❤

xo, bethany rose